In the evolving field of clinical sexology and relational health, the Connected Recovery™ model offers an integrative approach to healing from Problematic Sexual Behaviors (PSB) and Betrayal Trauma. This comprehensive, sex-positive treatment model draws from a variety of current frameworks, blending concepts and tools from PSB treatment, Betrayal Trauma recovery, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Sex Therapy. One aspect that sets Connected Recovery apart is its inclusive approach, designed to meet the needs of people of all genders, orientations, and relational statuses—whether they are struggling with PSB, healing from betrayal, or both.
At its core, Connected Recovery bridges the gap between the various worlds of treatment, providing a comprehensive model. This innovative model is divided into three distinct phases, guiding individuals and couples through early, middle, and late recovery in a structured, supportive way.
The Three Phases of Connected Recovery
The Connected Recovery™ model is rooted in Janice Caudill and Dan Drake’s Intimacy Pyramid, as described in their Full Disclosure books (Caudill et al., 2019), which is based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (1943) and draws inspiration from Gottman’s three stages of affair recovery. Like Gottman’s model, Connected Recovery™ follows three stages: early recovery (Repair), middle recovery (Reconnect), and late recovery (Restore).
Each of these phases is designed to address specific aspects of healing:
Early Recovery (Repair): The focus is on establishing truth, creating emotional safety, and building a foundation for healing. In this stage, individuals and couples work to create an environment of honesty and openness, which is essential for both personal healing and relational repair.
Middle Recovery (Reconnect): This phase is all about deepening emotional connection and empathy. Partners learn how to reconnect with themselves and each other through vulnerability, communication, and the rebuilding of trust.
Late Recovery (Restore): In this final stage, the focus shifts to healthy sexuality and relational wholeness. Individuals and couples work toward integrating their emotional and sexual selves, fostering intimacy that is free from shame or fear.
The Five Steps in Each Phase
Each phase of Connected Recovery™ is broken down into five key steps: education, honesty, boundaries, communication, and connection. These steps are repeated and deepened throughout the recovery process, providing a consistent structure for clients to follow as they heal.
By repeating these five steps in each phase, the Connected Recovery™ model creates a clear, progressive path toward healing. This consistency also helps clients track their progress and understand how the tools they’re learning build upon each other.
A Betrayal-Sensitive, Inclusive Approach
One of the key strengths of the Connected Recovery™ model is its betrayal-sensitive lens, which ensures that the needs of both individuals struggling with PSB and those who have experienced betrayal are equally addressed. The model provides a common language that both those who have betrayed and those who have been betrayed can use, fostering transparency, emotional safety, and connection throughout the process.
Additionally, the model is written using gender-neutral language, making it accessible to all individuals, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, or relational status. This inclusivity ensures that clients can engage with the material in a way that feels authentic to their unique experiences, whether they are healing individually or as part of a couple.
Tools for Healing and Growth
To support the recovery process, the Connected Recovery™ model includes a variety of diagrams, handouts, and worksheets designed to help individuals and couples work through each stage of recovery. These tools provide practical guidance and structure, empowering clients to take ownership of their healing.
Whether used individually or within a relationship, the steps and tools within the Connected Recovery™ model provide a roadmap for healing and deepening connection—to oneself and to others. For couples, these steps offer a common language that can maximize healing and connection, creating the potential for a more fulfilling and connected relationship in the long term.
In summary, the Connected Recovery™ model offers a unique, compassionate approach to healing from PSB and Betrayal Trauma. With its structured phases, inclusive language, and emphasis on emotional safety and connection, this model provides a clear path forward for individuals and couples seeking to heal from the pain of betrayal and the impact of PSB.
For a deeper dive into the Connected Recovery™ approach, phase one of this model is outlined in Facing Hope (Knowlton, 2023). This curriculum offers practical tools and guidance for early recovery, setting the stage for lasting healing and growth.
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