Someone recently shared a meme with me that said, “It’s OK if it’s not the most wonderful time of the year.” And it struck me because it’s so true. The holiday season isn’t the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. In fact, for some, it can be one of the hardest.
Maybe this time of year brings up pain or memories you’d rather not revisit. For people without close ties to biological families, the holidays can magnify feelings of loneliness. Or perhaps you’ve experienced a recent loss or betrayal that makes this season especially challenging. Whatever the reason, it’s OK if you’re not feeling the holiday spirit.
If this is a year where you’re healing from something difficult—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a betrayal (which is its own kind of loss)—give yourself permission to grieve. Let yourself fall apart if you need to. It’s natural and healthy to process your pain.
During that grieving period, you might find small moments of peace or joy to hold onto. It doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your pain—it’s simply giving yourself permission to also notice life’s softer edges, even in a difficult time. But if that doesn’t feel possible right now, that’s OK too. This can just be a season of grieving, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
If the holiday season is painful for you every year, it might be time to think about what you can do to reclaim it in a way that works for you. Maybe it’s an annual escape—taking a vacation to somewhere new or warm. Maybe you work extra during the holidays and schedule your rest for January or February, when the world feels quieter. Or maybe you create your own traditions that feel safe, comforting, or even joyful on your terms.
The key is this: Be honest with yourself about what you need, whether it’s giving yourself grace, setting boundaries, or finding new ways to experience this time of year. It’s OK if it’s not the most wonderful time of the year. Your feelings are valid, and your healing matters.
Take care of yourself, however that looks for you.
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